Whoa, two posts about exercise? Weird. But while we’re on the topic, why not?
As mentioned in my previous post, I’ve started taking my exercise routine seriously. And part of this is attributed to me shrugging off the awkwardness that inevitably ensues when you’re flailing about your room, sweating buckets and panting heavily.
Rather, I had to shrug off the idea that I couldn’t comfortably exercise in my own house because other people would see me, or walk in on me, or generally be an inconvenience to me (and I to them).
I am learning how to own my own space.
I don’t know when it started, but since childhood, I’ve made myself as small as possible. I was embarrassed and somewhat ashamed of my own existence. I kept to myself a little too much, and the tall walls I built to protect myself weren’t doing me any favors. I can understand to a degree why (which may or may not be explored in a future post), but for a long time, that’s how I functioned. Many times I thought, “If I didn’t exist at all, that would be less of a burden on others.” I admit, however quietly, I do still feel this way some days. A change in thought pattern isn’t overnight, but it is possible.
It’s still very much an uphill battle as with many other things, but I’m doing my best to take pride in being myself, to stretch and struggle my way through each exercise and each day that rolls in.
I belong here, just like everyone else. I’m allowed to belong here.
And, if you dear random stranger, happen to be reading this, you belong here, too. The world carved out a spot just for you.
So own your space, and fill it to the brim.