Figuring out who you want to be is a common problem that’s often addressed but rarely answered, if at all.
Spoiler: I do not claim to have an answer. But, I have my own insight, so take of that what you will.
As of two months ago, I solidly entered the age bracket of “late 20s” and all of the existential stress that comes with inching closer and closer to
death 30. And despite having a pretty good idea of what kind of life I’d like to pursue (and boy, do I try), I still get hit with the question: is this really what I want?
And that opens up the bigger, more menacing can of worms: what do I want?
Dangerous questions, no doubt.
There are so many variables to these questions, to the point where many people just don’t care to find an answer after a while. Myself, of course, included. We as humans have a plethora of dreams, desires, of what moves us and makes us happy. So trying to pick one or a few isn’t just overwhelming – it’s downright terrifying.
So we shy away from the questions all together.
But I believe it’s easier to decide what you don’t want first. For example, I can list off what I dislike in an instant: rude people, mushrooms, being stuck in a boring routine. Ask me what I like, however, and I’ll stare into space, stumped.
(For the record, I do love space. Both outer and physical.)
Consider these questions instead: What don’t you want to be? What personality traits do you dislike? Which actions will you never take? Now that you know those, you can focus on doing the opposite.
Honing in on the negatives in everyday life is generally not advised. But for this, you can transform them into something – someone – better. You.