Finding Focus

As mentioned in my introduction post, I served as a Peace Corps Volunteer. It was a great experience and definitely worth the two year contract living and working in a foreign country. If I had the chance to go back and do it again, I would. (Of course, I would change a few things…)

So now, I am back in my home country. I find myself feeling like I did when I was a fresh college grad, escaping one world (academics) and entering into a not-quite unfamiliar but equally confounding new world (everyday life as an adult). I’m also faced with the trepidation of finding a job, settling into a routine, and overall being a productive member of society.

I jumped into the former easily enough, churning out application after application, carefully crafting each cover letter, honing my résumé. Job hunting in and of itself is a topic I won’t delve too deeply into for this post, but suffice to say, it’s positively soul-crushing. And of course, all those rejections — even after promising leads — can make anyone second-guess why they want a job in the first place. What’s the use, right? Who cares? Clearly not HR.

Then, before you know it, a haze falls over you and you’re whittling away time playing games, drowning in trash memes, fooling around on your phone, or just doing everything in your power to procrastinate. At the heart, it’s basic self-preservation. It’s hard to always hear “no,” or hear nothing back at all. It’s not supposed to be personal, but it still hurts.

So, that’s where I’m at right now. But believe me, I’m fighting to get out of this mental rut. How? Well, I’m working on that.

Today, I sat down and wrote out a list of things I’d like to focus on most. Eight in total, and somewhat nebulous, but it’s a framework I believe will be easier to flesh out in time. Out of those eight, I’m focusing on four that I can do every day within a few hours using the Pomodoro technique.

For the curious, my four are:

  • job hunting,
  • study a language,
  • study a programming language,
  • mind-body love, a.k.a. meditating and exercising.

The first two I do already (merci/gracias/thanks Duolingo), so I don’t think it will be too much trouble to tack on the latter two. Twenty-five minutes for each. Five minute breaks in between. Seems doable.

I’m finding my focus through the fog. I refuse to get lost in the haze.


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